Tim's Tales from the Road
Seeing Red Update…
For anyone who has been following the remodeling efforts of Faith Lutheran Church in Albany, Oregon, it is my pleasure to announce that the congregation believing that salvation can be found through sanctuary beautification is at it once again. Long live Home Depot!
To refresh everyone's memory, the church windows were originally vomit-colored, stained glass windows. After determining the windows "leaked air", the sanctuary windows were changed. Installing the new color, 'Bloodbath Crimson', the congregation awaited the appearance of the new stained glass windows. They only word to describe their collective response was unsettled. The phenomenon created when light poured in through the red windows, was disturbing. The new stained glass windows actually made communion seem a "little too realistic". O. K., way realistic. Those communion wafers under that light actually looked like the flesh of Christ. And the wine….well you get the idea.
The next phase of the congregation's dance with the local subcontractors involved removing the red stained glass windows, knocking out the walls, and turning the pews in the sanctuary at an angle. These efforts were undertaken so that the Baptismal Fount could be placed in the center of the congregation and the choir could be moved down out of the choir loft. Thus the choir actually heard the organ and the congregation not only to listened to their choir's vocal train wreck but witnessed the actual tenors who were off key as demonstrated by the glaring looks sent their direction by other members of the choir. Once the walls were altered, skylights were placed in the roof. The building committee, hoping that once and for all the whole musical stained glass window dilemma would be solved, did this. But, in the end, nothing was solved.
As a result, the congregation learned a painful lesson in the dangers of passive solar and that no window is truly leak proof. Numerous members of the church joined the secret witness program in an attempt to identify which members of the choir should be forever banned from "making a joyful noise unto the Lord." Finally at any given time, half of the congregation experienced "whiplash-like" symptoms. These symptoms originated from the stress of turning around on hard wooden pews to get a better view of the baptismal font. Of course this could not be allowed to stand. Committees met, people screamed and Albany's Lutherans once again set out to change their habitat for inhumanity for the worse.
Removing the skylights, the wooden pews were put back into straight lines. The choir was exiled back up into the choir loft. Padding was also added to the pews as a way of compensating the congregation for the pain of actually witnessing their choir in action for the last few years. The organ and the associated organist continued to make endless pilgrimages back and forth between the altar and the choir loft depending upon whom was president of what committee.
Yet, in spite of previous false starts the congregation remained determined to "do something to fix that sanctuary." Modifying the walls of the sanctuary huge post-modern, pre-salvation, almost but not quite, Frank Lloyd Wright inspired, deconstructionist dormers rose up. In the center of these dormers, giant, clear plate glass windows appeared. The visionaries wanted the congregation to be able to "see their mission field."
And see their mission field they did. Members of the congregation were treated to dog fornication on the memorial lawn. They watched the lady across the street put on her makeup totally unaware that 100 grass seed farmers were more intent on her choice of 'luscious passion plum' lipstick than the action in the sermon. Gazing out onto Queen Avenue they watched rear end collisions occur and narrowly missed being subpoenaed in mass.
Faith Lutheran Church became its own aquarium or chia pet depending upon whom you talked to. Not only could the little loaves and fishes sitting in their nicely padded pews see out, but the unsaved could see in. People driving by could see Mr. Andersen sleeping through the Gospel According to Mathew. His head thrown back, jaw opened, and with drool staining the same suit he wore to the Albany City Counsel meetings whenever he nodded off all attempts to nudge him were in vain. Joggers spied Mrs. Thompson making change in the offering plate. And the woman across the street applying her make up definitely thought she saw Mr. Peterson wink. As a result of salvation through remodeling the unsaved saw all.
No one had considered that!
So the history of what was ends here, at what is. The see through, bigger than life dormer windows are on there way out. And, you guessed it, Stained glass windows are on their way back in. The October 2000 Faith at Work bulletin sent to all the members of the congregation tells the chilling story in its entirety.
"Stained Glass Update: A few months ago in Faith at Work, we announced that we would soon have some beautiful stained glass. Well plans changed somewhat (read: someone got angry) and now we are taking time to find out what YOU want. (read: thereby allowing for everyone to participate in another knock down, drag out annual meeting with lots of good old fashioned Lutheran angst)
Full windows, or framed glass medallions? The life of Christ as a theme, or Christian symbols, or something else altogether?
There will soon be a display in the Fireside Room of different kinds of stained glass church art, and one artist is lending us a piece so we can see first hand how beautiful stained glass would be in our sanctuary. We will be asking your opinions, and, at the October 22, congregational meeting, we will be asking you to advise us, by vote, of your desires.
In the meantime, we are organizing a couple of field trips to view different styles and formats of stained glass ecclesiastical art. YOU ARE INVITED! Monday, October 9, we will head to Portland and visit four churches with a nice lunch somewhere there, too. Then the next day, Tuesday October 10, we will view church glass in Sweet Home, Albany and Salem.
Both field trips leave from Faith at 8:00 am. Please call the church office to let us know you're coming, so we can arrange for rides and lunch reservations and such!
The Stained Glass Committee.
Somehow there is comfort to be found in the remodeling of the sanctuary at Faith Lutheran Church. Norwegians are very busy people. They have eternal angst that keeps them always on guard, battling against becoming rigid or satisfied with the status quo. They hate emotion but are compelled towards it anyway. Prayers are not enough. Grace isn't either. Somehow as the tearing down and rebuilding and the bitter battles mark these efforts, we all can be grateful for one thing. As long as Faith Lutheran Church on Queen Avenue exists, she remains a living lesson for us all. God isn't finished with us either.
Yet
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