My Experiences of Being an Openly Gay Bartender in a Small Town began when I started bartending in 1989 for a small restaurant in Deer Park, Washington. The population for this community was 2004. Deer Park is a small farming community, and I was scared to death at first. I heard people talking about my life style of being gay, but I never offered any information. If they asked, I would say yes I am, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Since then I have worked in other small towns in the northwest. I have had more fun meeting all the different types of people; farmers, cowboys, loggers, construction mechanics, and even bikers. They ask if I am gay, even though they are straight. I tell them “yes” and their reply is that it is “cool” that I can be open and honest.

Most people would say that the towns I work in are full of red-necks, which is probably true. Yet, from my experiences over the years, I've had very few problems from any one I meet. The few problems I've have had are mostly from people who are traveling through or coming from larger cities. They seem to be more homophobic than the so called red-necks from the towns I have worked or lived in.

In addition to all the different people in these small towns, I have met all kinds of people passing through, all the way from salesmen and musicians, to lawyers, and yes, like I said before, even bikers. One time I was working day shift at a bar in Deer Park and a group of bikers came through. Hells Angels. They happened to stop in for drinks. I must say I was scared. Picture the image of a gay bartender in a small farming community, serving drinks to a bunch of bikers. But, after meeting all of them, we had a grand time. From then on, every time they passed through, they stopped to say hi.

I would say out of the 13 years I have been a bartender, I would still choose to work in a small town. I took a job in the city one time, in Spokane, Washington. I worked three weeks and quit. I had more problems in those three weeks then I had in the past 13 years. The people were rude, obnoxious, and very close minded. They put stress on a human being that no one deserves.

Over the years of bartending, I have built up a clientele from the different bars I have worked. To this day, most of my clientele have followed me wherever I go. I can always count on them if someone comes in and ever tries to start trouble. Of course though, it never gets started. My loyal clientele are right there to say, don't judge him until you get to know him.

Out of the patrons I have met through the years, most every one was straight, and maybe three or four were gay.

I am presently working in a cocktail lounge, which I started two months ago, I am still meeting a lot of new people. I am building new patrons and friends every day.

The story that small towns are full of hateful red-necks, to my experience, is not true. Granted there are a few, but you could count them on one hand. But, you will have that experience in anything you do, or anywhere you go.

Your Friendly Bartender,

Virgil Collins