Stealing Water

By Billy Bob Bosen

 

STEALING WATER IS A BAD THING TO DO IN RURAL AMERICA :  IT NOURISHES CROPS, AND MAKES CASH FOR JESUS. 

For months now, I have been chasing (chasing is a loose term, for I am interested yet leery) this guy from a town that is close to mine where I grew up. (He comes from Dayton , Idaho- I come from Preston , Idaho ). These are small towns with less than a couple hundred people, separated across the river about sixteen (or less) miles.   He ended up in Seattle . God knows how.  A few years younger than me, his name is Cory. I know his uncle buzzy, and his cousin,  who we just call OJ. OJ and I once rodeoed together.  I lost my second set of buck teeth in an accident with him. It sucked and my teeth have never been right since.   

I just happened to meet up with him again three or four months ago.   He is just a little younger than me.  Maybe a couple of years although I am not sure.   But I think he is scared of me.  I want to visit with him but he always just pushes me away and does stupid shit. (Why do gay bars turn nice boys into shit heads and idiots?)  The only thing I can think of is that his neighbors when he was growin' up was good friends with my my mom and dad.  His neighbers were  Earl and Anna and I think they stole his daddies water.  

I just want to tell Cory to stop Fuckin' around, and get with the program and look at me, and see me for what I am, not what is in the past.  He ain't the prettiest thing, but I know he comes from good folk and that we have the same values.  Or close too. I am flexible on both ends of values. I can be liberal and I can be not so liberal.  Still I just want to tell him, I didn't steal his water.   I promise that you I did not steal his water.

He is not giving me the attention I want from him, and it is really pissing me off.  I didn't steal his water. Tonight he whispered my last name (Bosen) in my ear and told me what a fuck I was because of who I was. Its more because of the legacy of that shitty little town I came from and how nasty my daddy has been and that my family for many years was the largest employer of the county.  I couldn't help but think, am I ever going to get away from the past that my older family has made for me?????  Or will I just learn to live with it?

My basic thought as he looked at me, (other than you wanna take this out side and punch it out?) was I really wanted to kick his ass tonight! But I had my friend Jan with me, and I was being nice!  I understood where he came from, and that he probably watched me grow up, being caged (factual truth) and being beaten into submission over and over again. All that was probably table talk for many families then, talking all about my "learnin". Perhaps seeing me now, not only handsome but genuinely happy, it must unhinge him. He might possibly have hidden from the cagin' and the learning that would have beheld him.   Too bad for him, because I am a good catch, and he is missing out. 

I won't steal his water, but I would like to exchange matters of the heart.  Tonight as he whispered in my ear the last name (Bosen) and telling me water loss stories, I whispered back and told him that I could change oil in a John Deere, raise crops, run beef and dairy cows that would make any Idaho cowboy beam with pride. And on top of it all, I can make any cowboy scream with ecstasy and want to come back for more.  I am not talking about shining chrome off a trailer hitch either, that's just a stop in between!  I actually went into more detail with Cory but I guess to make a long story even longer is I want to know in my own mind why that person, after knowing what I have been through, how could I have possibly paved the way for queers like him to get out of there and be such a bitch?  I guess because of his attitude, I still want to take him outside and punch him out!

This isn't stomach band surgery related or it might be, I am not sure. It just pisses me off, after all this time, can't we all just let these things go? It's a hard enough thing for me right now. Being thinner and more successful than I have ever been while handling my own personal and emotional arena, and then to have a bastard like this pop up. It just makes it more clear in my mind that although I may get thinner, and I may change, the problems don't go away, they just change, and become something different. Yet still like your choices. They never go away they just change. Sometimes those choices are still as hard or even harder. 

In conclusion, I briefly smiled at Cory and told him that I still have the buckle.  A rodeo buckle Montana Silver to be exact that I whupped his cousin O J's ass for,  and that if he thought he was man enough to accuse my daddy of stealing water, perhaps he would like a go round, for the buckle, to settle the matter.  At that point my friend Jan appeared from the bathroom and he ever so politely declined. Proceeding to meld into his little circle of snotty gay boys, he disappeared. Too bad.  Because I was feeling strong at that point, having Jan by my side.   Later Jan and I left for another couple of parties that would have made the devil himself blush.   And yet, I am still so mad over Cory.